Let's Learn How To Hover, People!

Computer Monitor

Talk about the bane of my existence.  I have lots of banes in life and, I have to say, this is right up there!  This makes no sense whatsoever and is totally UNCALLED FOR and unnecessary.

I always dread when someone has to come to my desk and discuss something or show me something that refers back to something on my computer screen.  Why, you ask?  Because people don’t know how to HOVER properly anymore!

I’m always just fine right up until that moment they decide to whip their index finger out and POINT towards something near the computer screen in their discussions of explaining something to me.

Once your finger inches nearer to my computer screen or, perish the thought, TOUCHES it—well, you can pretty much stop talking at that point about whatever it is you’re trying to tell or show me.  Let’s get real—I have totally tuned you out at that point.

The only thing I can NOW focus on is your FINGER while I grit my teeth trying to refrain myself from slapping your finger back so it doesn’t get fingerprints all over my IMMACULATELY CLEAN COMPUTER SCREEN!!!!!!!!!!

Everything you THINK I’m listening to that you’ve come to my desk to tell or show me—my brain has completely tuned out because all I can do is focus on your finger while hoping you don’t get any closer to the screen.  And then once you’ve actually TOUCHED my screen, all I can focus on are the smudges going across it.

Now I’m getting antsy in my chair because I’m watching this madness unfold before me while hoping you reign that finger back in yourself so there won’t be any complications and repercussions for you to suffer later.

So at this point I’ve pretty much blocked out everything you’re currently saying because I’m too busy concentrating on your blatant disregard for what was my clean computer screen!!—and the fact that I can’t wait until you leave my area so I can once again wipe it down!

I mean, for Pete’s sake, at least if I have to point at your computer screen to “show” you something, I know how to “HOVER” and keep my finger a good 2 inches away from actually touching your screen.  But do I get the same respect???—NO!  See I figure you’re a smart cookie and can clearly see the general area I’m referring to without my actually having to touch your screen!!

All you have to do is hover in the general area while keeping your distance and I can clearly see what you’re talking about!!!  I can pretty much figure it out.  Man, I’m a brilliant individual!!  It doesn’t take a lot of smarts for that.  After all, my eyeballs are right there.

So, if you have nothing else to do today, learn how to hover in a general direction without actually touching whatever it is you’re referring to and without getting too close to it.

Take-Away Life Lesson:  If you need me to concentrate on what you’re actually saying to me when you’re near my computer—it’s best to either keep your distance from it altogether or just save your breath, stop talking, and walk away once your finger is within an inch or less of my computer screen.  Once we both regroup ourselves, you can try again later.

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40 thoughts on “Let's Learn How To Hover, People!

  1. I totally dig this girl, lol… Sometimes i will blatantly tell these touchy people to lay off my screen before they do and they’ll be like wtf? I never ever touch other’s screen! Why can’t they do that for me too 🙁 Nice post. You said it like it is, lol…

  2. Oh, dear, yes. I can’t take people touching the screen and I get a little edgy if they’re too near it. I’m not sure I want them even touching my desk at work.

  3. I completely agree with your statements. I too feel like I have the psychologist chair at work, in which everyone comes to vent…as if I care! And, no one should touch the computer screen. As you indicated, the discussion ends at that point because, I am tuning you out and focusing on cleaning the screen!!!!

  4. I used to have a colleague who not only could not ‘hover’ near a screen but could not understand personal space to any degree. She was always standing too close or touching me unnecessarily. It drove me crazy. I am not a ‘toucher’ and as such really have a hard time with people who are. It is NOT necessary to touch me or anything belonging to me to get a point across, EVER. Like you, anything that is said from that point on is just a blur of ‘please don’t, please don’t, please don’t’ in my head. I don’t work with her anymore, thankfully, it really did make work unbearable.

    1. I know. I finally got it off my chest after all these years of putting up with it! And last week was my finally straw! I mean, look at what he did to my screen!!! Now to get “those” people to happen across this article is the key.

  5. Love this post, I’m laughing so hard right now. The thought of you slapping someone’s finger is hilarious. If you ever do it, please make sure to get pictures of their reaction. It would make for yet another amazing blog post! 🙂

    1. Lol, Jeannette! Let’s hope it never comes down to the slapping fingers thing. But I can feel myself just snapping one day and it wouldn’t surprise me. Glad to give you a chuckle. 🙂

  6. Those are the same people that like to sit on the edge of your desk while they talk to you too. Like you want their backsides on your workspace/occassional lunch space!!! lol

  7. Ha. Any man, woman, or child will rue the day they take & move my keyboard to type something or (God forbid) take control of my mouse. Ask and you shall recieve. Take and the fury will begin to grow from within me.

    No clue why that gets my hide so chappy.

  8. Bahahaha! So OCD funny! I am a big believer in a good 18 inches of personal space (grandchildren excepted) at any given time. Don’t crowd me, and yeah – keep your greasy mitts off my phone, tablet and computer! 🙂 Very funny. Glad it’s not just me…

  9. OMG, that’s taking it farther than I would, but agreed, one should refrain. However, I have touched screens when working with elderly, who prefer to look at screens like a book. For us younger, tech accustomed kids, courtesy is called for.

    Of course, now we have tablets, so…how does one keep those clean? Hm….this may be a new custom/politeness issue in the future, to touch or not to touch another’s touch screen.

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