business cards – Loving Food, Fashion, & Life

One of my uncles is such a jokester. Case in point—when he got himself his very own restaurant, the jokes carried over into the restaurant.

Who in the world would put two toilet stools side-by-side next to each other in the same room for crying out loud?! MY UNCLE, that’s who! Yeah, let’s save some time and use the bathroom together. I mean, we’re all family here—and, if not, we’ll soon be like family after this.

And take note of the parking meter on the wall. There is a time limit depending on how much you put in the meter—and you’ll apparently be fined if you don’t deposit more money into it. Some of you will no doubt need to deposit a much larger sum of coins than others. (Wink, wink.)

Oh, this is my absolute FAVORITE! It’s a STOOL SAMPLE! Hardy-har-har! I swear—every time I see my uncle the next time ’round he has a new joke for me. This was too funny not to take a picture of.

Granted, I was scared at first to open the container when he handed it to me. I mean, you never really know with him.

How disgusting is this one?! And who has a nose that big anyway?!

Wall Jokes

Click on the pictures and help yourself to some more dry humor if you didn’t get enough of it so far. My uncle can go on and on for days with it.

Pride & Joy

Free Ticket

Before The Bender

After The Bender

Why don’t you just stick any of these cards in your wallet and whip them out as you see fit.

If you don’t have your own Pride & Joy to show off to your friends, well now you do.
You can now afford to give away Free Tickets all day to everyone you know.
Just turn the Bender card around the other way to whichever face appeals to you most.

Table Legs

Lamp Legs

The legs go on and on.

So, if you have nothing else to do today, show off your jokes to your friends and to the world. Make people smile and laugh. The world really could use more laughter in it.

Take-Away Life Lesson: Laughter really is the best medicine.

Ooooooo, look what I got today! I just fancy my business cards! I guess this means I’m official now. I pretty much felt forced to get these after that Whole Foods incident.

The company I bought these from gave me my first set for free. But after I chose the ‘high-class’ thick and glossy paper AND had the nerve to put print on the backside too (as only a high-maintenance-acting chick would do), I ended up paying a nice sum for these anyway.

BUT—heretofore—if somebody asks me if I “have a card” because I’m taking pictures somewhere, I can go “BAM!”

There were several designs I could have had put onto the back of these—and I chose the one that was desperately needed—I mean, the art of tipping has gone kaput.

Sooooooo many people either:

Don’t realize they should be tipping
Don’t have the math skills to tip properly
Are too cheap to tip (there, I said it!)

Either way, I think tipping should be taught by parents within families and within the school systems. No wonder some people are clueless. I was one of those people at one time.

I didn’t learn this at home or in school. Oh, noooooo. I only realized this on my own one day while watching a talk-show on television. I felt AWFUL after watching that show because I had NO IDEA I should have been tipping all those peeps all this time.

So the ‘Tip Chart’ on the back is for those who don’t have a clue and for those not great at math in their heads. And 15% has really gone ‘out of style.’ If your server did their job—move your eyeballs over to the 20% column—especially if you can afford it.

These guys get $2 and $3 per hour and can’t pay their bills or take care of their families if they come to work for tips and no one is leaving a tip. They’d essentially be working for free!

So, if you have nothing else to do today, get yourself some business cards made—just because you can.

Just throw your name on it
What you ‘do’ (Couch Potato, TV Watcher, Doodler, Paper Footballer, Food Eater, etc.)
Your mission in life (to stare out the window)
Your contact info OR, better yet, put “Don’t want to be contacted” on them

You’ll feel important once you get your very own business cards in your hands. Then just pass ’em out all over the place!

Take-Away Life Lesson: Always tip people who are in the service industry and tip them the proper amount.