desk – Loving Food, Fashion, & Life

Talk about the bane of my existence. I have lots of banes in life and, I have to say, this is right up there! This makes no sense whatsoever and is totally UNCALLED FOR and unnecessary.

I always dread when someone has to come to my desk and discuss something or show me something that refers back to something on my computer screen. Why, you ask? Because people don’t know how to HOVER properly anymore!

I’m always just fine right up until that moment they decide to whip their index finger out and POINT towards something near the computer screen in their discussions of explaining something to me.

Once your finger inches nearer to my computer screen or, perish the thought, TOUCHES it—well, you can pretty much stop talking at that point about whatever it is you’re trying to tell or show me. Let’s get real—I have totally tuned you out at that point.

The only thing I can NOW focus on is your FINGER while I grit my teeth trying to refrain myself from slapping your finger back so it doesn’t get fingerprints all over my IMMACULATELY CLEAN COMPUTER SCREEN!!!!!!!!!!

Everything you THINK I’m listening to that you’ve come to my desk to tell or show me—my brain has completely tuned out because all I can do is focus on your finger while hoping you don’t get any closer to the screen. And then once you’ve actually TOUCHED my screen, all I can focus on are the smudges going across it.

Now I’m getting antsy in my chair because I’m watching this madness unfold before me while hoping you reign that finger back in yourself so there won’t be any complications and repercussions for you to suffer later.

So at this point I’ve pretty much blocked out everything you’re currently saying because I’m too busy concentrating on your blatant disregard for what was my clean computer screen!!—and the fact that I can’t wait until you leave my area so I can once again wipe it down!

I mean, for Pete’s sake, at least if I have to point at your computer screen to “show” you something, I know how to “HOVER” and keep my finger a good 2 inches away from actually touching your screen. But do I get the same respect???—NO! See I figure you’re a smart cookie and can clearly see the general area I’m referring to without my actually having to touch your screen!!

All you have to do is hover in the general area while keeping your distance and I can clearly see what you’re talking about!!! I can pretty much figure it out. Man, I’m a brilliant individual!! It doesn’t take a lot of smarts for that. After all, my eyeballs are right there.

So, if you have nothing else to do today, learn how to hover in a general direction without actually touching whatever it is you’re referring to and without getting too close to it.

Take-Away Life Lesson: If you need me to concentrate on what you’re actually saying to me when you’re near my computer—it’s best to either keep your distance from it altogether or just save your breath, stop talking, and walk away once your finger is within an inch or less of my computer screen. Once we both regroup ourselves, you can try again later.

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What A Time Suck

I have to say—I spend an exorbitant amount of time at this desk, at this computer when I’m at home. So much so that I find myself falling straight asleep at this very desk into the wee hours of the night—and sometimes day hours. (Are there “wee” day hours, too?)

And not even just wee hours—sometimes they’re hours when I should be wide awake. But good thing I already have my PJ’s on before this point though.

One time I fell into such a deep state of sleep while sitting that my upper body slowly rocked forward and my head hit the computer monitor with a massive bang—and this was right after my gum rolled out of my mouth and onto the keyboard. Oh wait! That whole scenario happened when I was at work at the office. But that’s neither here nor there.

My point is—if I’m at a computer for an extended period of time and starting to get tired, chances are the above scenario is likely to play out no matter where I am. The gum problem could be solved if I just keep gum out of my mouth. The head-banging? That’s another issue entirely only resolved by knowing my computer limits and sleep maximizationing. (Is that even a word?)

So, if you have nothing else to do today, find a variety of other ways to spend your time to balance out your time on the computer.

Take-Away Life Lesson: Obviously put a bike helmet on before sitting in front of a computer.