lane – Loving Food, Fashion, & Life

Preparing For The Storm

Posted on February 4, 2014 by LFFL

This bloke made me chuckle on my insides at my local grocery store. Clearly his priorities are in order.

So yesterday evening I was out and about getting some last-minute grocery shopping done that I hadn’t been able to do the last few days. I just wanted to grab a few things to make a recipe or two I came across.

Since we were predicted to have 236 feet of snow the next day (today), I had no choice but to make sure my shopping antics were done by yesterday evening. I went to Whole Foods, Wal-Mart, and a local grocery store.

WHAT is the world coming to?!! I couldn’t believe how empty all the shelves were when I got to Wal-Mart. I really couldn’t figure out why they were out of so many items all over the place. The bread shelves were pretty much cleared. Since when is there NO bread? At first I thought this particular Wal-Mart was going out of business or something.

Then it dawned on me—THE SNOWSTORM COMING IN. Why is it that people like me that come to get a few things for the next couple days have to compete with people who are stockpiling for the end-of-the-world?!! Why can’t folks just shop normally?! THIS ISN’T THE FIRST TIME WE’VE GONE THROUGH THIS, PEOPLE!! And can you bring me one of your 30 loaves of bread from your basket, please??!!!!!!!

Anyway, I hurry along and get out of the madness of Wal-Mart and went to the local grocery store down the way. All around me were people with huge baskets full of food piled to the brim that they were carting around while shopping.

I mean, this is all I saw at all three stores. Just people everywhere getting their last-minute shopping done and carts loaded.

Then I finally get into the checkout line at the local grocers and encountered the usual that I saw at both Wal-Mart and Whole Foods—lines of people, everyone stockpiling all kinds of food on the conveyor belts, and just waiting their turn in line.

While waiting my turn, I realize the guy in front me is so unlike everyone else. It’s just a scenario I wasn’t expecting after the long day I’ve had shopping and seeing the same things all around me all night store-after-store.

He has no basket and puts a divider on the conveyor belt to separate his food from mine and I start putting my food on the belt when I notice:

With all the madness of the snowstorm coming in overnight and the hoarding of food everywhere—this man just wanted to make sure he had his one can of beer to get him through!

So, if you have nothing else to do today, prepare for your snowstorms or acts of nature accordingly and save some food for the less fortunate souls who can’t always shop early in the day.

Take-Away Life Lesson: Clearly a can of beer is the only thing you need to tide you over through a snowstorm. So let’s not PANIC next time, shall we!

Is There A Perfect Checkout Lane Anywhere On Earth?

Posted on June 8, 2013 by LFFL

Express Checkout Lane — This is clear as day to me!

Well, this is a recurring theme in my life that doesn’t look like it’s going to end anytime soon. Can I ever just get into a perfect check-out lane? Apparently NOT ever!

Are we all reading the same signage here?!! I purposely got into this line because it’s the speedy lane—you know, the (insert # here) items or less lane! In this case, it’d be TWELVE (12). Let’s just spell it out AND put the numeric value there to make it clear to everyone!

And, of course, I have a couple of heavy milk jugs in my hands weighing me down. But, OH NO. I’m convinced the only reason the lane ain’t moving ‘expressly‘ is because ‘yours truly’ got into this line. Yeah, that’d be me. So let the fun begin!

Looks like WAY more than 12 to me!

Yep, I counted 31 items by the time it was over.

I was clearly irritated because this is now no longer an express lane. And if I dare get outta line now, low and behold, I’ll end up in an even worse line. And since I now had plenty of time on my hands what do you think I did next? Oh, yeah, baby—count! By the time they were finished there were 31 items!

And, no, the cashier didn’t say anything to the offenders. Now, I’ve been in checkout lanes where the cashier will read you the riot act right and left and make you high-tail it outta line if she sees you have way too many items (and it’s amusing, to say the least—especially if the cashier’s inner thug comes out)—but that wasn’t the case here.

Now finally after an eternity—we’re gettin’ close, it’s almost my turn, YAY—well, don’t get too happy, girl! Now we gotta problem with the payment! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

So, if you have nothing else to do today, let’s all learn some basic reading and math skills. How ’bout it?

Take-Away Life Lesson: 31 – 12 = 19 for Pete’s sake!

Why, Why, Why Do I Always Pick The Wrong Line?

Posted on April 11, 2013 by LFFL

Can you get your coupons, advertisements (ads), and whatnot together BEFORE you get into the checkout line, please?

Well, this is who I had the privilege of standing behind in the Wal-Mart line. She wanted to discount everything she bought to match all the ads from every other store she had in her hand. So everyone in line had to wait until she went page-by-page through each ad as each item came down the conveyor belt!

Maybe things would have gone faster if she had, hmmm I dunno, pre-marked and/or highlighted her pages and items ahead of time-–but no chance of that. She, therefore, couldn’t remember which ad had which item in it which meant she had to go through ALL of them until she found each one of them. And this was for almost ALL of her items—not just 1 or 2 of them.

I know times are hard, but seriously! There was even a discussion of an item in one ad being for 99 cents, but Wal-Mart charged $1.00 for the same item! Why are we even having this discussion? Here—I’ll pay the extra penny for you! I just want to keep it movin’.

So, if you have nothing else to do today, do us all a favor and get your advertisements, coupons, and whatnot all together before you even leave the house for a shopping trip.

Such is my life. No matter which line I get into, it’s always the wrong one.

Take-Away Life Lesson: Always keep a yoga mat on your person for situations such as this. Lay it out right there in line and quickly put yourself into savasana before someone gets hurt and to keep yourself out of jail. Namaste!!