Mmmmmm…….Chicken Teriyaki, mixed vegetables, rice with yellow sauce, and Brussels sprouts. I love going to a good Japanese steakhouse. You sit at a table with at least 10 other people, who you may or may not know, and watch as fire shoots into the air and your dinner is made right before your eyes.
It’s a really fun experience—until we get to the part where the cook wants to throw shrimp or some other object of food into your mouth (and by your mouth, I mean my mouth). Some people like this, but I don’t see the appeal. I mean, 99% of the time the piece of meat ends up down your shirt or on the floor—not to mention everyone looks like hungry seals with their mouths wide open.
I always take a pass on myself, personally, but I’ll watch this maddening game as the cook makes his way around the table and I’ll laugh and clap with the rest of them—but I really just want to eat already.
So please just stop trying to convince me, Mr. Cook Chef Sir, to try and catch a food object with my mouth like an animal! When I politely shake my head ‘no’, that means move on to the next person—not fixate on making me look like the spoiled sport! Does it look like I want to fish meat out of my bra at a 10-top table of people!!! You’re really starting to TICK ME OFF!! JUST STOP ALREADY AND PUT MY FOOD ON MY PLATE!!! I’M STARVING FOR PETE’S SAKE!! I’ll take some more of the yellow sauce on my rice though, please.
So, if you have nothing else to do today, go eat at your local Japanese Hibachi steakhouse and take pictures of everyone with their mouths wide open.
Take-Away Life Lesson: Start throwing shrimp back at the chef.