The Waffle House Experience

Waffle & Hash browns

Waffles & Hash browns

My personal experience at the Waffle House was less than ideal.  It started when I drove up to the place and parked my car.  The few workers that were there were all congregated outside the place just ‘hanging out.’  It definitely wasn’t a staff meeting.

On this particular day, I happened to go straight after work.  The place was pretty empty except for one lone man eating on the far side of the restaurant from where I was seated.

As you may or may not know, the menu is also very limited here—waffles, eggs, hash browns, and maybe a couple other things, but that’s pretty much it.  I placed my order with the girl who escorted me to my table—she also happened to be the one that cooked my food as she smacked on her chewing gum.

As I observed my surroundings and watched her cook my food, I realized anyone could probably just come in off the street and slop their own food around in this “kitchen.”  The place did not look very clean and it was less than appealing to watch the food being made.

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No Bug In This One

Waffle from the diner

I was dying for another waffle even after my awful experience with the waffle from my hometown diner I frequent.  But this time I chose to go to the newly discovered diner in my hometown and try one of their waffles instead on this particular occasion.

I got my order to-go and, as you can see, when I got home I wasn’t about to eat this goodness without first checking the bottom of it in case any of Herman’s relatives recently passed away.

Waffle from the diner

Obviously, I lucked out this time and there were no bugs on the backside.  Hip hip, huzzah!  Whew!  I can’t tell you how scared I was lifting this bad boy up to check for bugs in the first place.  Bugs should be the last thing on my mind when I’m at the ready to eat a waffle.

So, if you have nothing else to do today, enjoy a waffle from your local diner but inspect it well before picking up your fork.

Take-Away Life Lesson:  It’s always good to make sure there’s not a bug burial site hidden in your waffles.

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My Rule Of Thumb

Breakfast at the diner

Pancake, French Toast with thick sourdough bread topped with powdered sugar, and a Waffle topped with powdered sugar; served with loads of butter and maple syrup.

You all know my rule of thumb:  When you can’t decide between one or more things, just get one of each and save yourself the headache and stress of deciding.  Why put yourself through all the torture for crying out loud?!

Here was such an occasion.  I decided to go eat breakfast at that newly discovered diner I found.  (Not to be confused with the regular diner I go to for 6″ x 5″ x 2″ cinnamon rolls and whatnot.)

I knew all morning I wanted something that required syrup—a pancake, a waffle, or French toast.  And at this new diner I discovered, all three are phenomenal.  So it was tough choosing.

After all, I had given this a lot of thought on the home front from the moment I woke up and up until I left the house.  It also consumed my thoughts on the 20-minute drive out to the diner, and during the 10 minutes or so that I told the server to give me after I was handed the menu once I arrived.  Geez!

It was IMPOSSIBLE to decide!  In my head, they all seemed so great that I knew I could devour any one of them at a moment’s notice.  As I was sitting at the table, it hit me all of a sudden—my rule of thumb!  If there ever was a time to apply my rule, this was it.  I mean, I had already marinated on it a little too long as it was, ya think?

Man!  Once I realized my rule of thumb was available to use—the stress of thinking about it all and making a decision about what to order just seamlessly floated away.  ‘Just give me one of each.’  Now I can consume my thoughts with something else or leave it entirely blank.  Ahhh, the good life.

So, if you have nothing else to do today, see if you can apply my rule of thumb to any given situation you find yourself in.

Take-Away Life Lesson:  No need to rack your brain with hard decisions.  The rule of thumb is there for a reason.

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Well, I Lost My Appetite This Morning

Waffle

Well, my day’s off to a fine start……….look at that delicious, delectable Belgium waffle I got at my hometown diner!  I mean, I couldn’t ask for anything more—melted whipped butter and hot maple syrup all on a golden brown Belgium Waffle.  Mmmmmmmm.

Well, NOT SO FAST!  Apparently, AFTER I had already taken this waffle home (since I got it to-go), microwaved it, and eaten half of it—Herman, the waffle bug, made an appearance in my face and had apparently been cooked into it on the backside at the diner before it was even given to me!!

At this rate, I’m going to lose even more weight—which I can’t afford to do.

Waffle Bug

Yeah, now that I think about it, I do distinctly remember asking for a ‘side of BUG’ with my waffle.  HOW DOES THIS EVEN HAPPEN!!!!!!  Gross!  Yeah, just click on that picture there so you can get a much better shot of it IN YOUR FACE like I did—legs and all!!!

Thank GOODNESS, as I cut the next bite, I had turned the fork over because that sucker was headed right for my mouth.  I initially thought it was a crispy burnt piece and was going to eat it anyway.

But something told me to do some further investigating.  So I took my fork out of the waffle and proceeded to move the ‘black spot’ with my fork.  Oh, my—EWWWWWW!!!

Upon further inspection, there were obvious legs protruding from a rock hard body that had been cooked to death.  This was clearly a homicide.  Now my waffle has become a murder scene.

WHY CAN’T I HAVE A SIMPLE MORNING EATING A WAFFLE IN PEACE?!!

So, if you have nothing else to do today, inspect every black spot you see in your food before eating it.  Never assume it’s just pepper, a black bean, or a crispy burnt piece of the food.  Better to assume it’s a crispy, burnt bug and save yourself!

Take-Away Life Lesson:  Never assume there’s NOT a herd of dead bugs on the backside of your waffle just because the front of it is bugless.

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